Major Update
Reverted all content here to draft, as a lot of it, frankly, looks insane. The logical dots connect, but only if you have a lot of context, and anyone reading wouldn't have any of that, and I probably appeared quite mentally troubled. In fact, I was, in several ways, and probably underwent some brain damage to carbon monoxide poisoning during the time that Shay Patel was spreading rumors and paying people to post about those rumors on facebook, making fake accounts that looked like esteemed people in the community, and so on. It's crazy also how people's memories of real events can be twisted when exposed to blatant lies about a character and seeing them through that lens. It destroyed me in that community for some time, but I destroyed myself by posting my honest reaction to it all - which was mostly a mental breakdown, midlife crisis, and heartbreak, all happening at the same time. I've mostly recovered from all that, though I still can't understand how anyone would ever be friends with, post photos next to, or let that man anywhere near their events, and how they can't understand the truth of what happened to me when it's as plain as day. But, understanding complexities within a culture/community and how those in power stay in power isn't the easiest thing. Those that profit from dancing communities have very low margins on their efforts - I forgive them for the nastiest of their tactics, though my heart breaks that humanity has such ugliness in it. I will leave this space with some of the words that helped me heal over time.
1. The problem is rarely the problem
99% of the harm is caused in your head, by you and your thoughts.
1% of the harm is caused by reality, what happens and the outcome.
Most of the time, the problem isn't the problem. The way you think about the problem is.
2. Avoid self-rejection
Don't think you deserve that opportunity? Apply for it anyways.
Don't think that article is good enough? Publish it anyway.
Don't think they'll reply to your email? Send it anyway.
Never overthink yourself into self-rejection.
This one is especially hard, because you will be receiving rejection constantly, from many directions, if you follow this advice, and you simply must not let it affect your psyche. Easier said than done, but the fruits from the trees that don't slam you into the ground when you try to climb their branches are worth your efforts. And your legs will only get stronger with every climb.
3. Silence and Time
The truth is, most problems aren't solved with more thinking, they're solved with less.
You'll find most of the answers you're looking for in silence, in time, and with a clear mind.
If you can't solve a problem, stop trying to.
4. An Important Question
When you start criticizing yourself for past mistakes, or seeing disaster around every corner, ask yourself: "Is there anything I can do right now to change the past or positively influence the future"
If the answer is yes, do it; take action.
If the answer is no, be at peace, let it go.
You have to take action or let it go, EVERYTHING ELSE is self harm.
5. The Power of Now
You're not going to overthink your way to a better future.
You're not going to overthink your way to a different past.
All you have is now.
And what you do with now can make right of your past, and make good of your future.
Make peace with yesterday, let go of tomorrow, and grab hold of now.
6. Fact Check Your Own Thoughts
Your thoughts will create scenarios in your mind that reflect your insecurities, fears, and worries.
So it's always important to fact-check your own thoughts before accepting them, because in highly emotional situations, your thoughts will tell you stories that aren't true.
Fact check yourself.
7. Acceptance is Peace
No amount of anxiety will change your future, no amount of regret will change your past.
Peace is found in acceptance: imperfection, uncertainty, uncontrollable nature of reality.
You don't have to understand, tolerate, or forget what happened, but if you want peace, you must accept it.
8. Health Starts in Your Mind
You can go to the gym, eat healthy, do yoga, drink water, and take vitamins, but if you don't directly confront the negativity in your thoughts, you will never be 'healthy'.
Our health isn't measured on scales, by the size of our muscles or by the width of our waist.
Health is measured by the quality of our thoughts and the peacefulness of our mind.
